I used to run pretty seriously (my definition of serious: following training programs and running a few half marathons), and then I used to run less seriously (running a few miles, a few times a week), and then I stopped running altogether (no miles, none whatsoever). I gave myself permission to stop and so I did. “It’s tough on the joints,” I’d say. “There are more efficient ways to get in shape,” I’d say. But now I say nonsense. My joints feel fine, and it’s been a great way—for me—to get in shape and feel both physically and mentally better. So I’m trying to get back into it, because as much as I love cycling and rowing, there is no better exercise I can regularly perform to get that full-body feel-goodness. And no, burpees hurt too much, therefore they don’t count.

BUT. Unlike most other pursuits, where I tend to jump in headfirst, go fast, and expect big results in short periods of time (read: photography, Crossfit, coding), I want to go slower this time. Take my time and gradually build up endurance. I’ve been inspired by a couple recent quotes I’ve come across extolling the virtues of slowness:

When we walk half as fast, we notice twice as much. — Tara Brach

The gentle overcomes the rigid The slow overcomes the fast The weak overcomes the strong — Lao Tzu

By the time it came to the edge of the Forest the stream had grown up, so that it was almost a river, and, being grown-up, it did not run and jump and sparkle along as it used to do when it was younger, but moved more slowly. For it knew now where it was going, and it said to itself, ‘There is no hurry. We shall get there someday.’ — A.A. Milne

Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast. — Shakespeare

And of course my favorite, from someone invariably insightful and inspiring:

I don’t think life is about a pace, living slow or fast. I think you just live, y’know what I mean? — Lil Wayne

I also tend to wait until the moment feels perfect. Like starting things on the first of the month so I have a nice clean number and way to track my progress. Or waiting til my new running shoes arrive so I feel like . Basically, optimizing my conditions to approach as “ideal” as possible. And of course, that definition of “ideal” is made up and nuanced to my own weird, idiosyncratic beliefs and habits. But really there is no perfect time. Sometimes you just have to stop waiting and planning and start doing.

So last week, on some random Thursday in mid-February, during my lunch break I dragged myself to the treadmill at my gym and painfully churned out 0.50 miles. It was uncomfortable. I wondered every few 0.05 mile increments why I wanted to run again. Surely, I don’t need to do this to myself. But I kept going. And yesterday I ran 0.75 miles. And today, I’ll do 1.0 miles. And I’ll keep going up in 0.25 increments, slow but steady, until I reach 10K (6.2 miles). And then, I don’t really have a plan. Maybe I’ll try to go for another half marathon distance. Or maybe I’ll try to increase my speed. But for now, I know that the best way for me to stay committed and to keep consistently pushing myself without giving up because I don’t like the way it feels, I’ll be taking those baby steps.